Why can't you live up to MY expectations?

Jeannette and I went out to have desert last evening with her sister Ingrid and her hubby David, we found ourselves looking for an adventure. (The wait was just too long at the places we wanted to go.) Well, we ended up at a Mediterranean restaurant. Very nice! was said as we entered the door to see the inviting and warm atmosphere. When we ask the waiter what deserts he suggested, he replied in a very peculiar way; "I'd just stick to the Cheesecake or the Baklava." (Little did I know this was a real example of the literary technique of foreshadowing.)No way I'm going to waste an adventure by playing it safe, . So I ordered my very favorite desert which I happily found on the menu; Rice Pudding. It is definitely my comfort food; fluffy rice soaked in milk and sugar, the Cinnamon sprinkled over the top, and found somewhere in each bite the sweetness of a raisin, my mouth almost seems surprised with every one. I prefer mine served cold, so I asked the waiter "Is the rice pudding served cold or hot?" His answer increased my anticipation; "Cold." That sealed the deal for me.


After a few really fun moments of discussing holiday meals from our past, the tray arrives carrying 2 Cheesecakes drizzled in chocolate, a delicate looking Baklava, and a glass bowl of something else pretending to be my Rice Pudding. A semi translucent gelatinous looking pumpkin colored portion of, well I'm not really sure what. "I'm Epicurus!" I thought almost a statement of faith. Plunging my spoon in to this foreign food substance in front of me and raising the first attempt to my mouth, which wouldn't quite open until I had taken a good sniff of the substance, I took a deep sssssssssnnnnnniiiffff! No, this was not a rice pudding smell at all, it was pungent, cured, fermented! The Cinnamon on top was a ploy to make me think it was rice pudding. But I know rice pudding, I have eaten it in three countries and at a Greek restaurant, and all rice pudding is like my Grandmas! Then the taste.........saffron? slightly.....well like they used leftover rice from a Paella! I finished it all and really even began to acquire a taste for it towards the end, or at least it was less repulsive. (You know kinda like diet Coke, at first it is awful and then it becomes tolerable and then you actually tell yourself and others that you really like it and couldn't drink the regular stuff because it's just too sweet, actually I think you could just substitute the word Good for Sweet in these instances.)




This whole experience made me consider Expectations. In our mind either in dormancy or activity are thousands of expectations that we pull out at every kind of situation. They are based on the good moments and bad moments of our life. We really have these expectations about food, people, places literally everything. And whether or not our experience is good or bad, is based largely on how rigid we are with our expectations. The farther from my expectation the experience is the more disappointment I have. Marriage, spouses, children, in laws, when we are confronted with each of these our expectations kick in. Most of the time in life our expectations are focused outward; this is what I, expect from You, condemning those around us to live up to my expectations of what or who they should be or how they should act, sentencing both parties to failure and disaster. Is that really fair?





What if we turned our expectations around a little?


Today I expect the unexpected, God only you know what is in store for me, I expect whatever you bring me is what you want for me. I know you only want good for me, even though sometimes I have to walk through the bad to get there.





What if I had played it that way? Would my pudding have tasted different to me?

High Standard for Others

I really hate it when I see people who are inconsiderate to others. Like when you are in the right hand lane at a red light and there is a person in front of you who is not turning right, especially when there is no one in the left hand lane. Or when people don't use their turn signal to change lanes or make a turn. How about this one? Someone doesn't signal because they are talking on their cellphone. Oh that one really chaps me. Or how about when you are at highway speed and just achieve a safe distance between you and the guy in front of you, when someone from the other lane decides to scoot in between you and the guy in front of you messing up your perfectly planned safe distance. The kicker; he doesn't even wave a "Thank you." for letting him cut in front of you.

Of course these things don't seem to apply to me I am finding out. Like the other day when I didn't signal to cut in front of someone because I was preoccupied with a very important phone call to Pastor Timmy on my cellphone.


The New Living Translation
Matthew
7:2
For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged.

Hypocrisy

Hypocrisy;
The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.
An act or instance of such falseness

I have been thinking quite a bit about hypocrisy lately. I have come to the conclusion that the word is used far too often and I think really improperly especially in church settings.
Before you judge me let me explain. The word has been used for people who believe or say one thing and then do another. This is really not the meaning. You see from what I can tell the word implies a level of willful deception. But most often people use the word to describe those who believe something and do something that contradicts their belief. That's not what the definition says at all. It says you profess beliefs, feelings or virtues that you do not hold.
So to say I am a Christian for instance, but really I am a satanist. That is hypocrisy.
To say that I am a runner but really I am a couch sitter. That is hypocrisy.

The word seems to be applied to those who aspire to goals and beliefs but fall short of attaining or living up to them. Like professing that I am a Christian, but today I lost my temper. Some might say if you loose your temper and profess Christianity you are a hypocrite. But this doesn't really meet that burden of deception does it. It would seem to fall in the category of missing the mark instead.

The reason I write this is two-fold.
One; because broken people who are searching for God are often too hard to judge themselves hypocritical because of constant failure to live up to their beliefs or those of others, and end up feeling devalued and defeated.

Two; judgemental folks often misdiagnose failure to attain, as hypocrisy and come down hard on others especially those who are weak among us or those who are young, resulting in a retreat from Christianity by the seeker, or young in faith. Ultimately resulting in another judgement by some of those that leave the Christian scene, that the church is full of hypocrisy.

To simplify;
A Christian who espouses love, who gets in fight or has some sort of moral failure. Probably not a hypocrite.

A person who says they are a Christian and full of the love of Christ so that they can receive charity from other Christians or churches, while in their heart and mind they don't believe in God or Christianity; definitely a hypocrite.

So as we go about our lives this week, be careful with your judgements of others and ourselves.
Set your bar high but be realistic about life when you fall short.

Romans 7 Paul writes this;

19 When I want to do good, I don't. And when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway. 20 But if I am doing what I don't want to do, I am not really the one doing it; the sin within me is doing it. 21 It seems to be a fact of life that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God's law with all my heart. 23 But there is another law at work within me that is at war with my mind. This law wins the fight and makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin? F24 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.

a christmas prayer

It was a cold year, but not a snowy winter. A family of 3 were on our minds. Not long before they were a family of four; Mom, dad and two young boys, growing far too quickly out of their youth. I don't remember the ages or the names. I never have been good with those type of details, but the faces are still with me today. You see dad had just died, leaving the boys and mom to face the holidays without him. He was far too young to go; maybe 40, I don't even remember what caused his death, some illness that steals life in an imperfect world. Not yet over the funeral they are hit with the news of moms lung cancer. Given only months and faced with the possibility of her children being without both parents before the spring arrives, she had a prayer request.
The simple request; Snow.
Snow? What a frivolous sounding request. But you see her children had never experienced the joy of making a snow man. And knowing this was her last Christmas on earth she wanted to see her boys experience the incredible joy of building their first snow man. Well the entire little church began to pray for snow. I have heard sermons on frivolous prayers and many of them include praying for weather changes. Good weather for the picnic, no rain for travel, and always they include the other perspective; don't pray that it doesn't rain today because the farmers may be praying for rain. Well I thought this prayer was as pure as they came. White, clean as the snow itself on the day it falls. I also thought if God chose He could make it snow only in the their back yard if He chose to do so. As I said that little request became the most important request made at that little church that season.
God please bring snow, for the boys, let their mom enjoy the site of them making their first snow man.
Seems like we offered that request for weeks, and then it happened a Christmas Miracle, it wasn't on Christmas, I'm not sure if it was just before or just after but when the snow began to fall revival rose in that little church, at least for a few days, we knew that God was still in the miracle business and still answered prayer.

Mt 18:19
"I also tell you this: If two of you agree down here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you.

self worth

Every day I talk with 16-20 people for somewhere between 30 minutes and 90 minutes. During that time virtually any topic you can think of is talked about. Not long ago I was having a conversation with a woman about personality problems she was having with someone that she worked with. She was completely frustrated, she seemingly had exhausted all avenues to deal with the situation and found no solution. I felt very fortunate as I listened to her story and then I said to her; I am so lucky not to have situations like that, firstly because I am self employed and work alone, except when my daughter is helping me. Secondly because if I have a personality conflict with a client that I keeps me from being effective I tell the client that I can't do them anymore and suggest some other places that might better meet their needs, so I only have clients that I like.

Her face softened as she looked at me almost puzzled and said "You like me?"

As I told her yes, her entire being changed, though I had never found her difficult, she was always guarded, coldish, sad, slightly un-trusting. With this revelation her cold exterior melted away. And I answered yes, I like you. I now really look forward to our time together. One moment in years of moments can change everything.

Why did she not think I liked her, and how simple was it to share Gods love by letting her know I valued her.

1Jo 4:12
No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love has been brought to full expression through us.